“Let’s Talk About… it.”

A biblical take on why God created sex, and what cultural forces we are called to boldly reject.


Ava Hollmann

Though it may seem daunting as a Christian, it is proper and necessary to explore the way in which God intended sex to bless a husband and wife.

Sex. Now that I’ve captured your attention, let’s talk about one of the most awkward subjects in Christianity, and frankly conversation as a whole. But the sensitivity of the topic should not deter its discussion. If anything, it should be pushed even more. 

As with the way in which WCA seeks to give students the tools to go into the world to boldly defend their faith, I believe it is in fact necessary and doable to do the same for sex. With that said, let’s put on our critical thinking suits and take a deep dive into what the Bible intends for it. 

There are certainly a variety of takes that Christian scholars have taken on the intentions for sex in the Bible, but there are a few main ones. A local Christian pastor, who we will call John Doe, wrote a lengthy manuscript with plenty of biblical support on the subject. At the beginning of it, he lays a solid foundation for the purpose of sex.

“Human sexuality is a blessing God designed for our joy and His glory. Marriage (and sex) is hard because sin corrupts all things, and we are sinners. Yet, our sexuality can still give glory [to] God within His structure, marriage. And [sex] still serves as a parable for Christ and church,” said Doe.

Within this grand design for sex, Doe claims that there are three main purposes for sex: procreation, deeper connection between man and wife, and the reflection of the union between God and His church. 

“[First,] children. In Genesis 1:27-28, God says, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.’ [Further,] Psalm 127:3-5 sees children as a basic element of the blessed home: ‘Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!’” said Doe.

Using procreation as support, Doe pushes back against homosexuality as an accepted form of relationship in the culture.

“[Procreation] is one of the things we need to say about homosexual desire. It has no proper telos – not in procreation, not in same sex physicality,” said Doe.

However, the use of sex as a means to create children is often seen in the culture as purely an evolutionary neccesity. Psalm 127:3 speaks to the blessing that children can bring:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Another point in the culture is that children, while still embryos in the womb, are disposable if the parents so desire them to be. The Bible, though, clearly speaks out against abortion by explaining how God intimately forms all humans.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” reads Psalm 139:13-14.

Starting with procreation by sex as a blessing, Doe continues on to the next point about sex in the Bible: a deeper connection between a husband and his wife. Sex, in a Christian realm, begins in marriage.

“A man shall hold fast to his wife and they should become one flesh… naked and… not ashamed,” Genesis 2:24-25 says.

In marriage, man and woman are called to fully enjoy each other. Surprisingly, the Bible talks a lot about this in the book of Song of Solomon, when King Solomon and his wife discuss their marital and sexual desires for each other. (Feel free to look into the whole book – it gets pretty erotic.)

“You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! Your lips drip nectar, my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue…” reads Song of Solomon 4:9-11.

Even from a biological standpoint, God clearly wired humans so that, when they have sex, a deep bond forms between them. This goes against the cultural norm, especially for those in their late teens and twenties: before marriage, singles should be able to sleep with whoever they want and brush off the attachment that has been created. In 1 Corinthians 6:15-18, Paul hits on just this.

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

American television shows fight this standard, and instead give the steps of romance as sex, relationship, marriage, rather than the Christian order of relationship, marriage, sex. As a result, what started as a one-night stand often morphs into something that is unsustainable and uncompatible, and the hook-up culture proves itself as destructive.

In the television show New Girl, the main characters, Jess and Nick, finally sleep together after years of being attracted to the other. They continue to have sex, and finally decide to be in a relationship. Soon enough, though, they both realize that despite their physical bond with each other, they are not quite suitable in every other part of themselves. They break up, try and have sex with and date other people, but in the end, get back together and get married, ignoring all their incompatabilities to restore their physcial fires. 

Even more significant than the physical bond created by sex, though, is the representation of the union between the church – the bride, and God – the bridegroom. Scripture discusses this quite often, but a hallmark verse is Ephesians 5: 28-33:

“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

A sacrificial love like this, though, is a strong juxtaposition to that of the culture. Doe explains the selfish, materialistic view of sex in the U.S.:

“Materialism reduces marriage to an evolutionistic illusion. Once we achieve self-awareness about this… we can deconstruct marriage and do as we please. Materialism says: ‘We are matter and energy… Survive. Reproduce.’ The [sexual] drive is especially strong in youth. That creates social challenges.”

“We now marry around 27-30, but sexual maturity comes 15 years earlier. That leaves a long gap that must be filled as safely as possible – no babies, no diseases, no emotional scars,” said Doe. 

While there is much more that could be examined in how the Bible instructs sex to be carried out, Christians are not simply told to know and agree with these teachings. Rather, they are to live it out, whether they are single, dating, or married.

“[For those single or in relationships,] look to strong marriages. [For those who are] happily married… tell your stories, open your homes,” said Doe.

For WCA seniors in particular, being able to defend the faith and withstand sexual temptations is especially eminent. Matthew 5:11-12 speaks of the reward of this resistance:

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

If nothing else, take this away: sex can be uncomfortable to talk about, but it doesn’t have to be. With these two little pages of sex ed, go out and… well… revel in the wait for sex.