Maggie lindstrom

Dean on the left, Jess in the middle, Logan on the right.

The unreciprocated “I love you’s”, yeah there is more than one.

Ok, so, what does this mean? What is an unincorporated I love you? Well, it is pretty straightforward: it is simply when someone does not currently feel the same way or simply does not have the courage or does not want to say I love you back to the other person. This is a common tv and movie drama device that helps build the tensions of the show and place (in my personal opinion) unnecessary obstacles in the way of a relationship. So what does this have to do with Gilmore girls you ask now? Rory, Dean, Jess, and Logan. Oh yes, we are getting into all three of Rory’s boyfriends. So let’s start with Dean, where all of Rory’s romance began. 


1. First unreciprocated I love you. 

Dean was Rory’s first love, she fell for him the moment her eyes saw him. She almost gave up chilton for dean. She also proceeds to date Dean all the way into the third season and then again at the end of the fourth season and the beginning of the fifth season then finally ending the relationship in the middle of the fifth when (yes) she gets bored. (There is more to unpack there, but that is for another time). So when did Dean first say he loved Rory? Well, it happens to be in the first season! Episode 16 to be exact. This is the first time that someone says I love you to Rory, without something being reciprocated. The I love you statement is a monumental step for relationships, especially young relationships. So you gotta give Dean credit for putting himself out there like that. But you also have to give Rory credit for her wanting to wait and make sure she was ready to reciprocate this statement. 


2. Jess, the second unreciprocated I love you. 

Jess joined the cast at the beginning of season two and did not truly make his mark until it became clear he wanted Rory at the basket bidding festival in episode 13. Jess was your classic bad boy, he thought no one but Rory got him and he did not have interest in talking to anyone but Rory. Jess was a hot and cold kinda guy, he never actually says I love you to Rory when they are officially together. He only says it after they have broken up, due to him disappearing. He is the only boyfriend of Rory’s that says I love you twice without Rory returning something. The first time he says I love you to Rory is in season 4 episode 13. At this point Rory is very much over Jess, other than the anger she has towards him, since he has been avoiding her the whole episode per the whole town’s request. But at the end he finally gets up the courage to speak with her and say I love you, Rory is so angry she makes Jess chase (yes, like run) around the whole square just so he can speak with her. When he finally gets her to stop, all he says is I love and then gets in his car and is not heard from again until episode 21 of season 4. His first I love you has Rory stunned and so is the audience. I remember seeing this scene for the first time and thinking “no no no, he won’t say it” this is a very emotional scene and it is constantly used as evidence of why Rory and Jess should end up together. But I think this next scene counteracts this I love you scene. In episode 21 of season 4 Jess makes a grand return and this time Rory has more than enough time to reciprocate his feels but she does not want too. Rory chose to not run away with Jess, she choose to not go and live this kind of fairytale of books and coffee and love with Jess. She does this for one reason, and one reason only. She doesn’t love him, she wants to love him but she can not. 


3. Unreciprocated I love you with Logan Huntzberger. 

This one takes the cherry on top for being the last and finally unreciprocated I love you. In episode 17 of season 6 Logan Rory’s ex boyfriend at the time comes to visit her. He needs to explain that he did not cheat on her. Which he did not. They were broken up at the time when he chose to sleep with his sister’s bridal party of four. This is what sparked Rory breaking up with him for a second time. Logan who had never had a serious girlfriend before Rory was not ever willing to lose Rory without a fight. On the first break up, where he sleeps with the other girls, he also proceeded to buy Rory lots of luxurious gifts, but when those did not work he sought out Lorelei’s help. When he finally won Rory back over, they were only together for a short time before Rory found out about the other girls. This spins what sparks a late night hallway fight between Rory and Logan. Rory claims to feeling stupid for getting back together with him and that she should have known. Whereas Logan claims to have not realized that they were not truly broken up and that he was lonely and upset. It all seems to end with three loudly proclaimed words form Logan. “Rory, I love you and you know that I love you” he proceeds to draw her attention to this fact at two point in a compound sentence. Rory has nothing to say but fine. They then go back to Logan’s apart where she proceeds to freeze him out. 


There is one thing in common with all of these unreciprocated I love you’s. Rory. Rory simple does not reply, why does she not? Easy, she doesn’t love them like they do her.  This made me connect with how our relationship are with the Lord. It is impossible for us to love him ask much as he loves us, and that is way he his the kings of kings. 


Sneak peek- Ungratefulness is a a common theme. 


 *disclaimer, in no way shape or form do I or anyone on this staff own Gilmore girls all credit goes to Amy Sherman-Palladino and The WB network. 


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