Missing Your Other Half

A look at the family dynmaic created when students leave their siblings for college

From driving to school in the brisk early hours of the morning, jamming out to concerts together, or simply getting a bite to eat, the time that siblings spend together is sacred no matter what the occasion. Brothers and sisters share a friendship that bonds them together in a way unlike any other relationship because it cannot be easily broken. However, when one sibling leaves home for college, a new strain comes.

Leaving home is by far the biggest adjustment that a new college student faces because it affects that close connection with their siblings back home.

“The hardest part of going to college was that I wanted to explore a new city, but that was not always the case with my friends. Being away from my sister, Emily, was extremely difficult because she is my best friend and we go on countless adventures together,” said Sarah Barker, Westminster class of 2013, who attends Baylor University.

Sometimes, when the college student is unable to connect with their sister or brother in the same way, it takes an emotional toll on them. For the sibling at home who no longer lives with their close companion, the family dynamic is affected.

“It’s hard because she is more than a sister. She is my best friend,” said Emily Barker, junior.

Students who are the youngest of multiple siblings are in for a surprise once all of their older siblings move away and they are essentially left to be an “only child.”

“When my oldest brother Seth left the house, it was not as big of a transition since my other brother, Caleb, was still in the house. Once Caleb left for college this past summer, my house became a whole lot more empty since I was the only kid of my family still in highschool,” said Caitlin Mundorf, junior.

As intriguing as it sounds to travel numerous miles away from home, distance plays a significant role in altering a college student’s relationship with their families and siblings.

“Suddenly being twelve hours away completely took a toll on our relationship,” said Sarah Barker.

With the cost of plane tickets and gas money, frequent visits are more difficult when students attend a college that is halfway across the country.

“Now, I am only able to see Sarah four times a year during the holidays because the distance plays a big role in traveling to see her,” said Emily Barker.

One of the perks of attending an institution close to home is that it is easier to visit family.

“It is nice living only a few hours away from home because my family is able to attend events at Mizzou such as family and homecoming weekends and dad’s day,” said Kirsten Caplinger, Westminster class of 2015 who attends Mizzou.

Because of hectic agendas, limited conversation is another factor that changes the relationship between siblings.

“When Emily and I are unable to talk on the phone because our schedules are completely different, we always snapchat because then we see what each other is doing in that moment, which is extremely convenient,” said Sarah Barker.

Though it can be necessary to gain more independence, moving away away from home hinders communication, thus creating a difficult transition for those who are closely connected with their brothers or sisters. Moments that siblings share should be cherished because once it comes time to leave the nest, a whole new family dynamic arrives.