Coping With Criticism

Tiffany Thompson - Staff Writer
January 11, 2010
Filed under Opinion

Recently, my mom and I were driving home after a day full of activity. We began talking and somehow our conversation came to the topic of my grades. She proceeded to explain to me that they needed to be higher in order to get certain prestigious colleges to seriously consider me for admittance to their school. We discussed the issue further, and after a little while she mentioned that my father made a suggestion. He suggested that maybe I should consider attending a Junior College and then branching off to a four-year college. I was immediately taken aback by these words. At that moment, I was not exactly sure what to think or say.
Later on, I began to reflect on this experience. I had two options. The first option was to take offense to my father’s words and decide that he did not believe in me. I could have concluded that he thinks I am not intelligent enough to pursue a daring education at the highest level. The second option was to evaluate his words instead of take immediate insult. Since I chose this approach, I was able to see that he meant no harm with his comment, but that he wanted to make sure I was fully prepared to take my education to the next level. While he did not intend for his words to discourage me, they could have easily had this effect.
So often, we give people’s words the power to alter our lives for the negative. We make the disastrous mistake of concluding that every word of criticism is a reflection of our self-worth. When we take constructive criticism and determine that those who give it want to destroy us, we actually destroy the purpose it was intended to serve. Criticism sheds light on what needs to be improved. When people offer such words, it should be accepted with gratitude. When given correctly, it pushes us to correct the errors and make the next step to better ourselves.
A valuable skill to have is having the wisdom to decipher the difference between those who constantly place a damper on our dreams and those trying to aid us in our growth by offering constructive criticism. Once we can effectively use this skill, life in this world becomes a little easier.
Words can serve two purposes: to build up or destroy. Even though words can be hurtful it does not entitle us to ignore all words of correction, especially spoken from those wiser than us like parents, teachers, guardians and God. We still need their valuable insight and guidance. However, the error surfaces not from listening to constructive criticism, but it comes about when we accept the doom and failure spoken by people who constantly want to keep other people down. Those who continually place a damper on our ambitions do not deserve a heavy influence over our lives, for they stop our creative juices from flowing and fail to aid us in the area of improvement.